he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
