i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
