you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i now understand why vodka
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
