Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
