listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
