i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
