dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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