Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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