im so drunk with asians
where?
always
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
