batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You are a genius and a whore.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I forget how to act sober
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
