Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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