Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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