it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Less talking, more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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