Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
50% drunk capacity currently
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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