im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
