Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize