she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just pee around me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
