i just had sex bonerless
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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