We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize