Sry I called you an 8
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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