OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
