3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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