at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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