HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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