Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize