I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
