She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
