We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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