If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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