How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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