Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have already put on my inside pants.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
