Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
