you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize