i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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