guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
