My liver just broke up with me...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
