tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
