Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
