I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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