Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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