On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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