I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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