i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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