Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
