and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He passed out mid-signature
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
