I think I won the penis lottery.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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