yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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