I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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