She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
