his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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