VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
