my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize