The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize