My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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