so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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