yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
