So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so let's talk penis.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
