Dual....:-)
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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