i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
