We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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