dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Acid is not a monday night drug
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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