i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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