Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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