she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
