Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
