He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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