I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
