I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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