is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
