I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
